but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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