what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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