Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize