Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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