He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize