bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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