I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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