I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
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Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
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he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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