I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
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He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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