I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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