i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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