sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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