Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
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apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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