dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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