I swear she didn't look like that last week.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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