theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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