I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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