I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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