I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize