but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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