remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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