So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Sext me about skeletons
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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