Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize