508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
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I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
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I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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