you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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