I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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