we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
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Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
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Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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