he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize