i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize