And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
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I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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