wanna go halves on a baby?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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