If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize