I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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