Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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