So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize