Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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