I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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