We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
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i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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