Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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