remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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