is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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