With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize