1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize