Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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