I wannas sexs uuuuu
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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