thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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