guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
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He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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