yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize