Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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