who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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